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Hello there releasers. I could really use some help.

I am 26 years old, and I have congestive heart failure after having an unexpected heart attack which wasn't diagnosed on time due to the ecg and bloods not showing anything when i turned up. Due to my age and the ecg, they sent me home with no further test and diagnosed with "anxiety/indigestion/costochondritis and the attack ran its full course leaving me with damage. I wish I could at least sue but unfortunately given my age there wasn't any malpractice.

Anyway here I am, a couple of months later and I have a lot of thoughts that I need to bounce. For a while i was getting a little better but things recently started turning in the opposite direction and I'm in a dark place regarding my mortality.

I really want to believe in the law of attraction and the idea that I can heal this despite it being "incurable" but I just don't know. Supposedly Lester healed his heart of damage but is that really true? Was he really diagnosed with heart failure? Lester made certain claims, and if he was not being truthful then what does that say about the method we're following? Sure it might help with inner peace, but Lester never said certain things like "anything impossible becomes immediately possible when fully released" and "hold in mind only what you want and that is all you will have". "Everyone is creating every day. We are not aware of it, because we just don’t look at it. We have demonstrated or created everything we have! Every thought, every single thought, materializes in the physical world. It's impossible to have a thought that will not materialize (except that we reverse it)."
I guess I just wish Hale would take a stance, either agree or debunk it so I could at least have a little more faith in the process. Is all this just an attractive concept or is it actually true?
I've been releasing on it, but it feels almost impossible to get to the place of feeling amazing and confident in perfect health. I just can't dig up any aversions to it, Larry says if you don't have perfect health you must have aversions to it but I'm really struggling to find any.

In regards to death, I am also really hoping that what Lester says about the astral worlds and reincarnation is really true.. It seems to be a common new age belief but how would anyone know that without having died? Why believe that over the Christian heaven and hell or the atheists "nothingness". I'm terrifed of non-existence.
And even more terrifying than that is thinking how devastated my family would be and even the idea that I'd witness it as a spirit.. I don't think they'd be able to cope with it, they're all so optimistic and not used to hardship the family would be destroyed for years. Just imagining them coming to my room to wake me is unfathomable.
So what I'm saying is even if I could release and be at peace with my own death, I can't imagine ever being at peace with the thought of their reactions.

Sorry to bring so much negativity into these forums I just had to get these thoughts off my chest. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

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I think my main concern about the law of attraction is the way it kinda gets swept under the rug. Someone will say, hey I'm releasing but I'm not getting what I want then someone will respond saying "you should be going for inner peace and using the goal to get there, and oh it's all about the feeling anyway you dont need the thing when you can have the feeling". Which is all well and good, but why shouldn't we create just to create? Lester made these claims that we're controlling matter so why shouldn't we enjoy that why do we have to go for enlightenment? It seems like a kind of cop-out, someone spends ages releasing with no material gains, and we kinda sweep that under the rug and say hey its all about the inner peace.

"anything impossible becomes immediately possible when fully released" - does it matter if I or anybody else tell you it's true? It is for me. I had impossibles becoming possible because I fully released the issue, not released on the issue. On the other hand the "impossibles" I still want I don't get.

It doesn't mean I'd heal myself if needed. One of the key points to release is humility. I don't know "what should be according to my will". The reason I release today is that I thought my life was over a long time ago. I know what is to wake up in fear, not wanting to go to sleep because I knew I'd just have that extra-shot of dark fear in the dark, I had to be with people so I wouldn't be by myself suffering my terrors. What you are going through is worse, but it is what it is. If I go along with your post it won't be of any help.

Nothing you wrote is helpful, though I have a part of me that identifies with where that comes from. You keep releasing, what other choice do you have? If you have other better choices, go for them.

Do you want perspective? Larry mentioned a long time ago he released non-stop for days to be Free of his fear of heart attack. Notice "non-stop" and "days", not "8 hours a day for 3 days" or whatever people translate that to.

"I just can't dig up any aversions to it, Larry says if you don't have perfect health you must have aversions to it but I'm really struggling to find any." - of course you are, if it was obvious it would be healed. Are you doing Att and Aversions to the thoughts/feelings that keep repeating when you release "Aversion to perfect health"? Do you see (not think about or imagine) the part of you that wants the suffering and fear? It's the same one that doesn't want the suffering and fear, can you see it? Maybe not, it means you have a lot more to release.

Where to start? With your post. There's a lot you have to release right there. Probably a lot of releasing just to identify what you need to release on your post.

I'm going to disregard the second post, it makes no sense. But it makes sense to you, so you should release everything in it too till you see it doesn't make sense.

Finally, release your "how it all should be". How do you know you release enough? brace yourself, this won't be easy: when you are perfectly happy if it never heals and you drop dead on the next 5 minutes or sooner. It might take a lot of work to get here, and please don't start there, or maybe not a lot of work- each person is different. I don't see myself back then believing it would be possible for me to release to this point, but it doesn't change the reality that I had to anyway.

Never forget that Lester, facing his mortality, engaged on an inward and self-validating journey of questioning everything he "knew" and sought to find the answers to who am I, what is life, what is happiness. He did not do a process in order to heal himself, or try to reconcile so much information about LOA / metaphysics, judge himself on his progress or have any preconceived ideas that "once I am released on this I will be healthy." Put all the spiritual knowledge in the same category as everything else he decided to put aside in exploring what was really true for him.

Be compassionate towards yourself and the health challenges you are facing while also seeing it as a potentially unique opportunity to tap into the spirit of where he started, that primal and direct confrontation with our mortality. Clear your mind of all of the knowledge overhead and see if any of the simple practice presented resonates in some way and feels like it moves you in the direction of something that feels innately true. If it does, continue moving in that direction one step at a time. 

One thing I remembered from Evan's post: I have the impression, and it could be just me, that a lot of people tend to underestimate the fear of dying and "digging deeper".

The deeper something is, like the source of your aversion to physical health, the more the emotional energy is compressed. You push down deep what you don't want to face in any shape or form. And it is likely anyone that wants to dig deep will face some of that. You faced your mortality, you know what fear of dying feels like, it is something that most would pay to never feel again - that's the importance of Step 1 and "doing it for Freedom/Beingness", "or doing it for God" if you prefer. We get to a point where we don't want to continue, sometimes this point is just "to start doing it", and we must have a goal in mind that we can focus on and keep doing it.

When I was a kid I got a Beingness experience, so I know It is a real thing, and also the best possible thing anyone can experience. By "real" I mean it is something living in this body, basically sharing it with the egos, something you can have a relationship with. Sometimes, especially with fear - and most especially with fear of dying - I have to remember to "do it for Beingness", which is Freedom, to keep going.

Because THE WHOLE POINT, the one answer to everything you posted, the real solution that answers all questions, is "to identify with your Beingness only". That's Freedom, that's what heals all fear and makes the impossible possible.

If you look into the works of Joe Dispenza (a dr that healed himself of a broken spine) and others like Gregg Braden you may find the scientific evidence to support Lester's claims.  To be honest if I had not have been so into alternative healing before discovering Lester I would have a hard time believing this too.  

"if I had not have been so into alternative healing before discovering Lester I would have a hard time believing this too"

Good point, and the reason is you are not supposed to.

"Don't believe anything I say, but prove it for yourself(ves)" - Lester.

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