OTHERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE...

[Lisa [Hootless Crew]]

Something Mario mentioned on a blog!

It's an odd thing how people attach labels to a person ie judge them to be a certain way, good or bad even though they have maybe listened only to hearsay and not checked that person out for themselves....to see how they actually are.

Then if true it is at least from ones own experience!

Whats that all about? And why does iit tend more to happen negatively rather than positively?

Is it because others sense changes in us as we progress, and feel threatened by that?

Will site an example so you know what I mean...have been told lately that to do what I do - ie yoga/meditation/releasing/veggetarian diet/ etc is all self help garbage....and that I am not this 'holier than thou' person I am perceived to be.

Now, this is a label they (a certain group of people) gave me. Had they taken it for checking themselves, they would know that I am the first to say I am no 'Goody twoshoes' and am as mischievous as they come at times lol

So, my question is what is all this labelling and judgement about?

And, why do others (non releasers in particular) seem to look for the bad in others than look for the good stuff? Then they get their mates to validate that - ahaa so they must have been right...errr right???

[Tom Verbroekken [Hootless Crew]]

What you believe to be true, is true for you.

As for the "whys", well I have no definitive answer...and this is just from my own point of view. People like to be "right" in their minds. They spent years building up beliefs. They view their beliefs as truths. We all have beliefs in our minds, and if something upsets our beliefs then we (as in ego, mind) tend to knock it down. Why? Basic instinct - we feel threatened by the other person. It's the "fight or flight" response that's built in. And that's why people want to validate their beliefs with others...."Yes matey, that's right".

Adyashanti once said that the mind is all about order. If the order gets disturbed it wants to get everything back into place. Blow up a puzzle and watch the pieces fall down. Your mind has the tendency to put them all back together, right? In spirituality you just let them blow apart and fall down. Something your mind will never accept, because it needs order. Destroy order in the mind and it goes bezerk. When someone's beliefs are challenged, the order is temporarily gone. Guess what happens? :) They will do whatever it takes to restore that order, ie. defend their beliefs and put you down for being "such a fool" for having different beliefs than they do. This results in labelling, story-telling, judgement, etc.

"No (ego) self, no problem." - Adyashanti

The real thing that needs to be addressed is how you deal with it. Are you reacting to their beliefs or are you letting whatever comes up go? Adjusting other people's beliefs will never work - they will defend them no matter what. You can only deal with your own beliefs - what people do with theirs is up to them.

I will leave you with a quote to ponder...

"To love our enemy is the height of love." - Lester Levenson

[Lisa [Hootless Crew]]

Great answer Tom, thanks for taking the time!
I love that 'Lester' quote!!!

And, yes how we deal with negatives is interesting and can almost be a measure of how far we have come on our spiritual path!

For me, once upon a time (great story) I know I would have reacted badly, defending my own belief structure, or, trying to calm the other side down (approval) just to keep the peace!!!

This time it was different and I surprised myself in that I suddenly noticed that I didn't care any longer what another persons opinion of me was. And found I could stand my ground effectively, firmly but without the 'part that was afraid of rejection' - I was able to tell it as it is - and not worry what the resukt woukd be or if they qould no longer like me ...my thought was so what? It is their problem and not mine!!

This has made me very happy, because something has dropped. When something happens again that happened in the past and we respond differently to the same set of circumstances, it is quite a shock to begin with.

But a great way to assess progress. I still like to figure out why others behave the way they do though, hence this thread LOL

Anyione else had any significant changes? Moved from reacting to responding? Its very different!

[Mário [Hootless Crew]]

Why would I want to know who you really are if the "bad" picture I have of you is so much more interesting? I am better than you because I can point where you are wrong and this makes me right. Then I can tell everybody about it and get lots of approval for being better than you.
Where am I in the AGFLAP scale?

[Mário [Hootless Crew]]

I forgot guilt, because this is more specific to some types of personality. If people see you doing something they think they should be doing but they don't, you are the enemy. And if you get results it gets worse. So the problem is you that makes them think those thoughts and feel guilty.

[Lisa [Hootless Crew]]

That's pretty much it Mario - although, I find it hard to learn that some will go to extremes to create a completely untrue 'bad picture' about one particular person, based on fabrication, hearsay and lies! Why would they do that? I guess it isn't in my understanding to do such things, so cannot fathom it when I see others doing it - adults too!

I guess it is the old tactic of 'putting someone down to make yourself look better'...

Incidentally, it has happened to a few people by the same clique, at different times. Mostly those that challenge the status quo, or are generally happy. They don't seem to like happy...LOL

The mirror springs to mind too, the very things I have seen them accuse others of, arebhow this particular group appear to be themselves...

Funny old world :)

[Mário [Hootless Crew]]

If you want to understand or, the "bad expression", figure it out :) , try to look from this perspective: the point is to generate sensations. We (ego) "know" we exist when we are feeling. The ego itself is a bunch of sensations that think they are alive. So, the more it feels, the more it guarantees it is alive (wanting survival). So, the best picture of you has nothing to do with "reality", whatever this means, but how much sensation I can generate from that. That's why it doesn't care about screwing up your whole life. How much sensation do you generate when you really mess everything up?

I will repeat a quote from Guy Finley that I put in my wall to remember everyday: "Don't feel yourself, be yourself"

[Lisa [Hootless Crew]]

Yeah, how true that is!

Another distinct advantage of releasing! Less sensations as you say Mario!

I don't know about anyone else but my negative self talk has virtually vanished now. If I smash, break or walk into something these days my mind just says ok, it was just a 'thing', or an accident - no worries.

Prior to SM, my mind would kick in instantly with self beration like 'you idiot what did you do that for' or, that was something you loved, now you ruined it.... LOL

So, yes I can relate to more being, less feeling for certain.

Are you saying that those creating bad expression in others are actually making themselves have better 'sensations' and thus reinforcing their already outnof control egos? Or something along those lines Mario? Am finding what I mean on this one difficult to articulate for some reason :)

[Mário [Hootless Crew]]

Yes, that's it, I know what you are saying. I am saying that whatever our egos drive us to do, is to generate sensations that provide them the illusion of existing, of being alive. No wonder they don't like releasing. Why do we like movies, or books for instance? Would you like a movie where you don't feel anything at all, just sit there? Or would it be boring? What is boring? What is tedious?
I want to have the most beautiful and sexy partner. Do I still want it if I don't feel anything at all with them?

Larry says: "The ego eats negativity for dinner". What does that mean? How come the ego does not eat love for dinner, or joy? What is easier for us to feel? What have we been trained the most to feel? What is the world today trying to make us feel? Feel, feel, feel. Sometimes is hard to release because we don't know that this important hook is there. Why can't I let this go? Because you like the "feel", doesn't matter how you judge it.