It may have been discussed before but since I have some recent experience that made me wonder about it and want to be clear about this. Thank you.
Here is my experience. My parents were not speaking to each other more than 30 years (but never divorced) and my mother was often speaking ill of my father to me. But recently a lot of "miraculous" things happened. My mom got dementia and my father started to help her, then her heart barrier kind of melted and now they are like happily married old couple. I don't go into detail behind this story because I'm just bringing it up to better explain my question.
The things is, after my mother stopped badmouthing my father and actually became affectionate toward him, I realized my attitude toward women changed. It's subtle but I realized I had slight hostility toward them before. Now I don't have it and I believe it was released. The thing is I never realized I had this subtle hostility. I believe it was in my subconscious. It's kind of a thing that you notice you had after you no longer have it.
There must be many "subtle" feelings like this I don't realize I have and my question is how I can find them to release? I think I have become good at releasing AGFLAP when I know I have them. But when hidden in subconscious I don't know how I can deal with them.
option 1) go to your feeling center and if you are willing to allow the feelings to come up they will. The only reason you think you "Need" to search for feelings is because you don't allow them to come up.
In other words: If you are open and you allow all feelings to come up they will and you won't have to try hard to look for them.
option 2) Ask yourself what's my Now feeling or "what concerns me now"?
again if you are open all feelings will come up.
"The thing is I never realized I had this subtle hostility".
because you were not willing or ready to face it in the past and now you were willing to.
-It reminds me how a Few months ago a little depression hit me and I thought "I never realized I had this subtle depression"
But after I released on it I saw that it was always there I just thought I couldn't handle it so I "Ignored it"
bottom line: You need to work with what's in front of you...... you don't need to go searching
whatever you can handle in the moment will come up
other stuff will come up later when you feel inside you are 'more ready'
But it's not our decision what comes up - the decision is to allow what comes up and let go....
Thank you Shai, for your detailed answer. I'll play around with the both options.
You will also start to see that all of life is helping you in this way.
A situation appearing in your life that points to something unresolved in yourself IS a form of it becoming conscious. It is just as valid as sitting down and closing your eyes and 'finding' something. A feeling coming up and presenting itself to you or a person coming up and saying something to you that brings up a feeling, the only difference is that our mind calls one of them inside and one of them outside but they are all perceived by the same thing and a reflection of the same thing.
So you don't even have to wait for some special alone time or do any secret technique. As Shai said you just deal with what is here, now, wherever it seems to be coming from - just welcome it and take it to the want.
Thank you Evan, I'll to be more sensitive to my current feeling regardless of the situation.
So would I be understanding it correctly by saying that if I had been more "present" and sensitive to my feelings, that hostility was always there and I would have noticed it and possibly let go at that point?
"So would I be understanding it correctly by saying that if I had been more "present" and sensitive to my feelings, that hostility was always there and I would have noticed it and possibly let go at that point?"
I'll leave that last question for Evan. But it is so important that I have to pitch in:
"that hostility was always there" - everything (thoughts/feelings/emotions) is already there. Nothing is generated by the moment. The moment just brings them up from the unconscious to the conscious, which by itself triggers the letting go till we think and stop it.
"I would have noticed it and possibly let go at that point" - not possibly, you would have let it go till you've thought something, like "now what? Oh, could I? Hmmmm, this one seems big" and so on, stopping the process.
No need to leave it to me when you said the same thing I would, haha. It's true, something coming into awareness and letting go are all part of one smooth, natural process, like a river naturally flowing and bringing up soil or whatever stuff it all just knows to do. The irony is that it's not really a process, it's just what we naturally do, the thinking and analysis to the point of blocking energy is actually the learned "process" thru years of conditioning.
That's why all sort of things can happen sometimes really quickly, you're not really 'doing' it, you are just removing the dam and the water flows. The more in touch you are with how this FEELS, you wouldn't step out of this feeling of flow in order to say "should I let go of this" it's just the natural response. Remember you are reconditioning yourself to a new default. Most of the questions and contradictions come from an old place trying to understand what a new one would be like. It's like a caterpillar saying "so i get that there's a butterfly but how do the wings work and how can you fly when all that matters is eating leaves" - it's just a completely different perspective. They will arise but once you are actually seeing from a different perspective they become self obvious and they will *never* be truly clear or grasped from the old one.
Just to say thank you everyone again for your input for this :)
I have a question and I think it's related to what's been discussed so I put it here rather than opening a new thread. I have been doing releasing a lot recently and a few days ago I had a big "break down" while releasing. I started to cry a lot over my past life (with my ex wife and pets). It was not weeping but major bawling and lasted a while. It was about everything related to my past life, missing my ex, missing my pets, fearing to move on without them, good memories, bad memories, anything and everything about them and I just kept crying. I wasn't even sure what I was crying about at some points. Although it's been already a few years since the break-up and I had been releasing about my past life, probably I wasn't ready to face it this much until now.
After I stopped crying I felt better, and felt less "stuck" in life. Also, I noticed I'm more willing to "review" my past life with my ex. So I started to jog my memory...then at some memories I started to cry again. I did it a few more times and I cried every time at some point with less intensity.
Anyway, here is my question.
Although I feel released a lot after crying, I need more "push" to make me cry now- for example now I don't cry just thinking "how great things were" etc. anymore but it would still make me cry if I think how lonely I am now comparing to it. In other words I need to "instigate" crying. I wonder if it is a good idea to do so, visiting all the small memories and clean everything so to speak. (I still feel better after crying, but I'm sort of making myself feel bad first on purpose). It's been discussed that I should be dealing with whatever in front of me now. I wonder if I'm doing too much.
Thank you again.
I was releasing and all of a sudden I started to cry.
I had read somewhere crying is a form of releasing and best to welcome it, so I did.
I felt very released after crying. Remembered when I was a kid actually...when after I cried what I was crying over wouldn't matter anymore.
Were you releasing and crying Teru?
You can but you don't have to....
each time you let go of wanting to cotrol (*anything) you let go of many units of AGFLAP even if you don't see it right away.
I will use a personal exmaple:
I was madly in love with a married woman who lived close to me. I released on wanting approval and to control it
then I felt stuck....so I said: Ok, and I left it alone
I kept releasing on other stuff I want to control and other people I want approval from - and then 5 weeks later: I saw that married woman again and I felt nothing (no attachemnt to her anymore).
The goal is to get to a place of "not wanting" - it doesn't matter if you want to control the moon or the traffic or you feelings or your thinking.
When you get to a place of "not wanting" the past and the feelings will just flow through you
freedom is not about releasing all your feelings it's releasing the attachment or the identification with them.
When we are told we are not our feelings we say: 'yea right...' but after you get A Lot of practice in releasing you start to see that the identification with the feelings creates the notion that we are the feelings.
Since we have been like this since birth it will take practice to undo this habit
Some things are hard to explain in words I hope this made sense
I wonder if it is a good idea to do so, visiting all the small memories and clean everything so to speak. (I still feel better after crying, but I'm sort of making myself feel bad first on purpose). It's been discussed that I should be dealing with whatever in front of me now. I wonder if I'm doing too much.
Thank you again.